Raw and Real: Self discovery of the week, once a flashback occurs, abandonment depression happens, any type of unconscious trigger, the negativity bias of the brain is in play again AND I have to be able to spot it. Once I spot the negativity bias driven thoughts I can then return to being who I am AND pursuing each day with passionate pursuit in my work, my relationships, my life!
To recognise the negativity bias listen to your thoughts beyond the regular, day to day ones. For example, I exercise first thing every morning. Once the negativity bias is activated I find myself hooked into emotions driving thoughts of “it can wait, I did it yesterday, no rush and so much more.” The powerful part of this is that our brain has literally been triggered, emotions (the limbic system) are running the show, and it is incredibly hard not to cave into the negative bias BECAUSE IT’S OUR WHOLE INTERNAL SYSTEM in fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode, driven by our brains primary defence mechanism to survive. Yes, just over getting dressed and going out to exercise.
What to do: For me, my routine is so ingrained in my daily life that once I recognised this negativity bias I was able to bring my thoughts into the current moment and say to myself “not today negativity bias, I’m off to gym because it’s healthy for me.” I found my body so frozen it was literally had to move my muscles. i.e. I had to consciously move each part of my body to get up out of the bed. Yes, recovery is intentional, hard work.
Next I kept choosing my thoughts about where I’m going with my one next step. Literally, just the next thing I had to do. The negativity bias is so POWERFUL I could literally only focus on doing the next thing. i.e. get dressed, feed the cat, take medication/vitamins, put shoes on, make my heart starter and drink, put my shoes and socks on, put the cat on the windowsill, grab my cold water, my bag, get my keys, drive to gym.
When I finally arrived at gym and was walking on the treadmill I very nearly shed tears of joy. Instead I grinned like a Cheshire Cat because I’m going to win this battle.