Our core path through all of this is the opposite of what we have known all our life. Throughout our life there has been a lack of experiencing giving and receiving love. Complex Trauma begins to heal effectively as we learn to love our choices, our life, those around us etc irrespective of how it compares to our life goals and dreams. Bring authentic love back into your heart for yourself, fill your bucket of love up, and give from there. Our internal system will thank us for bringing love back into ourselves. The love drives out fear and builds courage for the road ahead. Choose love despite our past. Love wins.
The fear, the sense of terror, the anxiety riddling my body just never made sense as an adult.
I’d ask myself repeatedly why couldn’t I manage “normal” adult responsibilities? Why couldn’t I get into a routine and keep it? Why did other people scare the living daylights out of me on one hand but on the other hand we could be instant friends? Quite frankly none of it made any logical sense at all.
The loneliness tore through me seated at the school waiting for my kids. I could not envision what my life would be like now, having literally lost everyone and everything. Loneliness is a deep, physical feeling. The one thing I never gave up on was the belief that I had done the right thing leaving despite no one else seeing or believing what I knew to be true.
“We are retraining our brains to heal what they’ve been through, what they were wired to do when we had no choice.” Charlotte Beaty Thigpen
There are many unknown elements in an unhealthy home that do not set us up for success. There often times is ongoing danger, multiple times a day, which sets us up for feeling we are always at risk. There is a constant unknown.
There is inconsistency. To the brain, that is an unknown. Will Dad come home from work happy or angry? How about mom, what will her mood be like? We are constantly on guard because we don’t know what to expect due to a lack of consistency.