Did you know there are different levels to being validated? Me either! I went researching and discovered how we can work it in with our different layers of healthy friendships and trust too!
One of the most triggering questions in the world is the innocently well intentioned “Why don’t you just…?” question-suggestion-judgment. It feels like an attack when it is actually meant as a suggestion. Inevitably, it’s asked by someone who does not understand the struggle I am feeling, the tempest inside, or the helplessness that is just bubbling under the surface.
You know what this says to me, get out of my way; I am breaking free.
I think I have reached a point where I finally realise that I am not a robot and there are these things called emotions, that everything is not black and white, I can define the relationship I have with anyone, there is this thing called shame that holds me back and down and chokes the life out of me.
In our Facebook Peer Support Group, I see a lot of us asking “Should I…?” questions of each other. This is actually one of the reasons why being in a peer group is so great. We are talking with people who ‘get’ what we are going through and collectively have tried a lot of different things.
What is Complex Ptsd? For me, it was like carrying around a ticking countdown clock just waiting for a precise moment to remove all of my mental health. To top it off, I didn’t know this countdown clock existed.
For the silence to cease we ALL must be willing to get on board and LEARN news ways through our challenges, do our own self reflection work and OWN our previously hidden unexpressed thoughts and emotions and map NEW roads.
The loneliness tore through me seated at the school waiting for my kids. I could not envision what my life would be like now, having literally lost everyone and everything. Loneliness is a deep, physical feeling. The one thing I never gave up on was the belief that I had done the right thing leaving despite no one else seeing or believing what I knew to be true.
“We are retraining our brains to heal what they’ve been through, what they were wired to do when we had no choice.” Charlotte Beaty Thigpen
There are many unknown elements in an unhealthy home that do not set us up for success. There often times is ongoing danger, multiple times a day, which sets us up for feeling we are always at risk. There is a constant unknown.
There is inconsistency. To the brain, that is an unknown. Will Dad come home from work happy or angry? How about mom, what will her mood be like? We are constantly on guard because we don’t know what to expect due to a lack of consistency.
I understand. I hear you. I see you. Your Trauma is valid. The impact from past abuse and neglect is alive inside of you today, here, now. I see your struggle to maintain your external sense of togetherness as your internal world wants to crumble. I’ve lived it and I lost it all, twice.
I hear you questioning why can’t I just adult? Why can’t the past just be over and done with? Why can’t I get a good nights sleep? How can I stop this anxiety when it’s “not me?” When will this depression lift? Why do my relationships always end? How can I break this cycle for my children?
Are you ready for the good news? Are you ready to take action? Complex Trauma Recovery is possible, even when you need an individual road map.
Up to date Neurobiology and Psychology information applied in practical applications by Coaches who live the recovery journey to thrive. We ensure through continued training and research we can help you as an individual recover from the impacts of Trauma.
Techniques developed in house plus ongoing professional development to ensure we can help you gain the most out of our coaching and courses. We know your brain needs to have new experiences in your daily life to recover and we ensure your path includes specifically designed for Trauma recovery tools and techniques.
Have you spent years in recovery, in therapy, and still battle to achieve your personal recovery goals? We consult with you specifically to determine your recovery goals and to help you achieve them. Results happen when you are equipped with the essential tools needed for Trauma Recovery.
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