Thomas O Hoffman
Husband for 26 years and counting. Father of two kind, smart young ladies who are beautiful inside and out. After an information technology career spanning 28 years with AT&T and IBM, I’ve spent the past several years in the battle for MY life as someone with C-PTSD. First learning to survive consciously, then how early childhood abuse and multiple developmental traumas have shaped my life over the years, including today. Working to use that knowledge to develop that sense of self, of MY self, suppressed while unconsciously just trying to survive.
S.E.W.I.N.G Trauma
- October 17, 2020
Hi All,
One way that I try to work through the healing process is by writing.
I wanted to share the thoughts below and welcome any of your thoughts and feedback:
A psychologically or emotionally traumatic event overwhelms an individual’s existing coping mechanisms and ability to process the experience in real-time. The trauma can fragment the self, storing the fragment timelessly in mind, brain, and body. There the fragment remains, a hostage of time, used as a lens through which future events are filtered, and a landmine waiting to be triggered to leap you back in time, place, and emotions.
Like using sutures in the healing of physical trauma, recovering from psychological and emotional trauma requires SEWING:
S– Stabilize – self-harm prevention, support system identification, grounding ability formation to afford enough
focus to think and learn, a physically and emotionally safe enough place creation.…
E – Educate – gain knowledge and skills – both psychological and life
W – Work – feel and understand feelings, build & implement skills, introspect, understand how past events influence
the present, ….
I – Integrate – integrate past and present with new knowledge and skills, inner fragmented parts into a united
sense of self
N – Normalize – with the knowledge, skills and awareness gained, explore how you want your new present and
future integrated-self to live?
G – Go, enjoy your new life – you deserve it, not just because you have earned it, but because you are!
The SEWING will not be linear. There will be spirals, zig-zags, overstitches. Each healing seam will likely result in the need to revisit prior steps. New triggers can require further education, additional work, more integration, a new normal. Particularly gut-wrenching triggers may even raise a need to stabilize again before moving forward. This step repetition is part of the normal healing process. It should be seen self-compassionately, patiently, non-judgmentally as just another suture along the path towards healing.
Maya Angelou stated,
the caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged birds sing of freedom.
She also declared, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive: and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
Go! Go forth and break the prison of your past trauma!! Gain your freedom!!!
Find YOUR mission in life. May your life include calmness, wisdom, strength, coherence, serenity and love.
Thomas
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