From Surving to Thriving
My healing journey began in 2016 after a terrible DV incident that changed my life and that of my family forever.
I was thrown into being a single mum of 4 kids and I started drinking even more heavily than what I already did. On the 1st August 2016 I made a decision to quit alcohol and start making better choices for my children. Monkey see, Monkey do right? I’m still sober today!
After spending time in a psych ward detoxing and a few months of therapy and psych appointments, I stumbled across a wonderful support group online. Back then, Healing from Cptsd was a little group, just a few members. I came in like a wrecking ball. I was angry with the world and I wanted the world around me to change without me changing a thing. Ha! Welcome to wishful thinking.
Enter Linda – our groups founder. Her soft but no nonsense approach kick started something in my brain. I was forever hearing “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” It didn’t make sense until I started my healing journey. I had to make the changes I needed and only I was responsible for me.
Through group, I learnt about what having CPTSD means and how it has impacted my choices over my life. I learnt better coping mechanisms. I learnt about boundaries and how they are a must/need! I learnt about cutting toxic people and behaviours from my life. I learned the most important thing of all and that’s the cycle stops with me. I learnt how to teach my children to make better choices and to be better humans.
Last year saw me as an admin and then co-director for this wonderful group. I faced many challenges in the time, both mental and physical. My health was crap. I was suffering from insomnia/sleep issues and also trying to run a household. I ran myself ragged trying to please everyone but myself.
Somehow I had forgotten who I was and so I lived seeing the world through a screen. Then I wrote 3 letters to myself. They help keep the momentum of life going for me. Now I am living my best life!!!
I am currently studying a certificate in Conservation and Land Management (CaLM), working outdoors in the bush with nature. Both flora and fauna!! It truly is amazing. I have done things that past me would never have dreamed of OR had the confidence to do. I’ve held a 3m carpet python (never held a snake before in my life, I’m 38!). I got to cuddle a wombat and she was so heavy and cute and fluffy. I pat and feed goats everyday (when they aren’t trying to head butt me lol) But best of all I get to challenge myself and learn something new everyday!! As well as helping bring the native plants and animals back to the way things were, I love being able to give back to mother earth
Never give up on healing, no matter how hard it is! It is so worth it and so rewarding!!
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When we are on this healing journey, it’s so hard to know when we are doing it ‘right’ or when we are hitting a dead end and need to back away to go back to the last fork in the road. It’s also hard to not give ourselves a super hard time when we feel like we keep doing these U turns and are feeling exhausted.
You’re ready for things to feel easy—and good.
I understand. I hear you. I see you. Your Trauma is valid. The impact from past abuse and neglect is alive inside of you today, here, now. I see your struggle to maintain your external sense of togetherness as your internal world wants to crumble. I’ve lived it and I lost it all, twice.
I hear you questioning why can’t I just adult? Why can’t the past just be over and done with? Why can’t I get a good nights sleep? How can I stop this anxiety when it’s “not me?” When will this depression lift? Why do my relationships always end? How can I break this cycle for my children?
Are you ready for the good news? Are you ready to take action? Complex Trauma Recovery is possible, even when you need an individual road map.