I developed a severe headache despite running through all the things we’d need to do today in my mind last night because that’s Complex Trauma. No matter how much the planning we still can’t stop the brain/body response, we allow for it and roll with it. Mind you this is far better than I used to be. In the past I suffered mind blowing migraines that required 30 mg of morphine and knocked me out for three days. So functioning with a headache is streets ahead of my past health challenges.
Communication with self reflection on both sides is vital.
Brené Brown says vulnerability and I agree, and with Complex Trauma we also need education, skills and structures to help or we continually go around in circles.
Deeper understanding is required on both sides and as a parent I learn from my adult children about what they do and don’t need from me by being willing to have open communication, by being willing to drop the generational hand me down of “my way is best” or “I’m right, you’re wrong therefore you’re the one with the problem plus any other family hand me downs ie “I had it way worse than you what’s your problem?”
I raised my kids to know they can take what works from my parenting, leave the rest and develop what works for them.
It’s definitely been healthier than what went before me.
Here’s to celebrating our courage for taking one next step.