When our mother is a narcissist we walk through our childhood years not developing our authentic sense of self. This Masterclass is for us to reclaim our sense of self enabling us to choose healthy relationships in our lives.
Reclaiming our Sense of Self Worth
There are days when I find it a challenge to put into words the tangled mess that was my emotional, or lack of emotional relationship with my mother. The impact was long lasting as there was zero information in my early years of seeking answers, but now we have genuine answers for mothers who were emotionally unavailable to us from our earliest moments of life.
For me, the trauma began before conception happened. Both sides of my family, in each generation, experienced significant abandonment trauma. My maternal great grandmother left 4 young girls in the middle of nowhere and no one can recall how long they were there on their own. My maternal grandmother, one of these young girls, was impacted internally so significantly that she never bonded with my mother, and my mother carried that bitterness to her grave.
My paternal great grandmother left my grandmother in a paid position in an orphanage. The damage was so intense for my grandmother that she literally couldn’t talk to me about it. The closest she came was admitting to me that she never had a friend because she was in a paid position, not an actual orphan. I can barely imagine her pain. Her father abandoned her as well, as did her first husband, leaving her with 3 kids, one of which was my father.
Arriving at my conception, as you can see, are already multiple generations of abandonment and unresolved trauma. I’m 5th generation Australian and we can be sure that the abandonment didn’t just start from what I know. History repeats itself until we make a stand for change.
My mum and dad decided to marry after my conception, and it didn’t last. My mum abandoned me a number of times physically and continually throughout my life. What mother asks her daughter to deny that she’s her daughter? What mother never shows up for her daughter, refuses to help with her periods, sends the daughter to the doctor on her own, tells her she’s not cleaning the shower right, but can’t tell me why or how, loves on her 3 sons and when she’s dying still can’t say “I love you” to her one and only daughter?
If you’re here you know the list goes on and on and it’s painful. Part of the pain is the rejection and part of the pain is I was left with zero sense of self, zero sense of how to be a woman, zero ability to feel feminine and strong, but left with lots of ability to anticipate and meet every other persons wants and needs.
I remember one Christmas mum asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I had NO clue. What child in today’s world has no clue what they want for Christmas? That’d be us, the ones with no sense of self, no self esteem and no self worth. The challenging part of all this was it was all done openly and I was the one with the problem according to the rest of the family.
I know you’re here because this happened to you as well. The difference is we want a life, a whole life, we want more for the generations coming after us and we want to raise children who are heart conscious and full of life. But first us.
All the information in this Masterclass will set you on the road of internal discovery that we need to break the chains, break the generations of abandonment handed down to us, the generations of zero emotional connections and emotional language and family rules where if we spoke up we were not accepted as part of the family.
I can personally guarantee every ounce of effort you put into reclaiming your your sense of self gets paid back in full with our children breaking the cycles we begin. All three of my now adult children are not only emotionally intelligent, kind, caring individuals, they all know how to do their internal work because they watched me and they learnt.
Your children are watching and they will learn with you. This investment is priceless.