Abandonment trauma leaves children feeling unsafe, unimportant and unsure of how their needs are going to be met. As adults, the first sign of abandonment trauma is usually our lack of good mental, physical and emotional health, then next the lack of healthy relationships in our daily life.
Recognising Abandonment Trauma In Adulthood
Do you have experiences and feelings of …
You find yourself very easily attached to people right after meeting them and the relationship escalates quickly. Have a fear of being left alone, abandoned.
Trust doesn’t come easy to you. You look for things to confirm your suspicions that you can’t trust the person in front of you. You experience emotional flashbacks, leading to feelings of panic or intense emotional distress
You’re afraid people will leave you, judge you or discover you are flawed if you don’t make them happy. You judge yourself and set unrealistic perfectionist standards for yourself and other
You’re afraid if you get too close to anyone they will leave you, so you choose disconnection over connection. You’ve been unable to form healthy adult relationships.
You find yourself becoming jealous easily and you feel insecure because deep down you don’t feel worthy of love.
Emotionally unavailable and closed down people seem to be always attracted to you. Holding onto toxic relationships to avoid feelings of abandonment or loneliness is something you’ve been aware of doing and you’d prefer to avoid conflict.
“I feel such sorrow that you were so abandoned and that you felt so alone so much of the time. I love you even more when you are stuck in this abandonment pain – especially because you had to endure it for so long with no one to comfort you. It shouldn’t happen to any child. Let me comfort and hold you. You didn’t cause it and you’re not to blame. You don’t have to do anything. Just let me hold you. Take your time. I love you always and care about you no matter what.”Pete Walker
My Story experiencing Abandonment Trauma
Having spent years in personal development, self awareness and a spiritual journey there were still elements of my internal world that were unknown to me. I’ve never viewed the elements of my childhood through the lense of emotional neglect, rejection and dissertion. The invisible, untouchable abandonment wound was alive and well inside of me and I had no clue. It kept me in a cycle of loneliness, of relationships that never worked out, of people pleasing and self sabotage and ultimately in believing that my life was safer and more manageable if I did life on my own. Unknown to me was when my parents and brother disappeared overnight without explanation at 4 years of age the intense fear I had for who would take care of me, of not being able to wrap my tiny mind around what was happening, followed by no mum for over 3 weeks, escalated my already existing abandonment wound.
Yes, without knowledge, my abandonment wound already existed.
I was an unexpected child, conceived out of wedlock in the days when this was not the done thing. Generationally the women from both sides of my family already carried abandonment trauma, so my mum found it hard to express love of any kind. At 4 years of age I already knew the family rules of we don’t talk about our emotions, and in place of the lack of connection with my mum I mothered my younger brother. Emotional abandonment is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. Unfortunately my mum continued to do all of these throughout my life. The good news is I discovered how to recover from this deep emotional neglect and you can too. The details in this course will explain what is happening internally for you, how you can recognise it in your daily life and take you on an experiential journey to bring together your external and internal world, developing your whole self. It’s through this process we can stop the self sabotage, we can connect deeply in relationships and we no longer have to operate out of fear of being abandoned ever again.
Abandonment Recovery Modules
Each Module is applied for 1 week at a time. This gives you education and the ability to identify and integrate the one next step to break the intergenerational abandonment wound
- Contents of Each Module Each Module has 1 instructional video, 1 set of professional slides, 1 Digital Workbook you can follow the video with and use as your Daily Reflection Workbook. Each Module Contains up to 14 Different Slides with Images and Information for our Internal Abandonment Process to help easily identify abandonment in our daily life.
- Time Requirement 30 mins once a week, and 5 minutes each day for self reflection. This course is unique, it helps you know how to integrate your internal awareness and gives you the one next step through self reflection daily.
- Module 1: Identifying Sensitivity to Rejection
- Module 2: Abandonment & Neediness
- Module 3: Abandonment & Boundaries
- Module 4: Reconditioning the Nervous System
- Module 5: Developing a Sense of Self
- Module 6: Connecting to My Story
- Module 7: Reframing My Abandonment Story
- Module 8: Love Addiction
- Module 9: Dissociation Revealed
- Module 10: Abandonment Anxiety
Abandonment Recovery Course
Online Course Contents for Breaking the Abandonment Cycle
- This Online Course contains 10 Video Tutorials and 10 Digital Manuals for charting your Abandonment Recovery Progess
- Watch 1 video per week and complete the Digital Manual as you integrate the knowledge and personal awareness into your daily life to help identify and break the abandonment cycle
- Can be used with or without a Mental Health professional. All instructions are contained in the Digital Manual
The course starts now and is available whenever you are ready, always. The benefit of being online is you pace yourself, it literally fits into your daily life.
How does lifetime access sound? After enrolling, you have unlimited access to this course for as long as you like – across any and all devices you own. Memberships have access as long as their membership is current.
Yes. Taking in your notes and observations to your Mental Health Care professional will help you progress through therapy.