My Complex Trauma Story I know the exhausted, confused & alone feelings… Right in the middle of the busyness of life, surrounded by good friends, family and work colleagues, the feelings of exhaustion, confusion and loneliness persisted. It just didn’t make sense to me. I had everything anyone could ever want, yet life wasn’t working …
My healing journey began in 2016 after a terrible DV incident that changed my life and that of my family’s forever. I was thrown into being a single mum of 4 kids and I started drinking even more heavily than I already did.
I’ve been searching for answers to my depression, which I didn’t believe I even had during my anxiety days, for a very long time. Recently I came into an awareness my brain had significantly healed. I was only able to recognise this for 2 reasons.
Raw & Real: I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve had no idea which way to turn to take my one next step throughout my recovery journey. Then there’s the other side of the coin where I’m moving forward in recovery and BAM! CRASH! I unknowingly spiral downwards and can’t get out of bed for some unknown reason. Frustrating much? Yes!
I want to encourage you to never give up! Being the first generation consciously breaking the generational chains it’s hard work, and worth it.
Raw & Real: One of the best decisions I ever made some years ago now, was to choose to begin to believe the kind things people said about me. I was sitting at my desk, back when I still didn’t have a lot of cognitive functions, and I realised I continuously believed the worst about myself.
Two years ago I came across a list of the signs of Fear of Abandonment. It’s been a journey involving learning how to trust my decisions, learning how to trust my gut instinct and having courage to hold true to my values. It’s been worth it.
Raw and Real: Self discovery of the week, once a flashback occurs, abandonment depression happens, any type of unconscious trigger, the negativity bias of the brain is in play again AND I have to be able to spot it. Once I spot the negativity bias driven thoughts I can then return to being who I am AND pursuing each day with passionate pursuit in my work, my relationships, my life!
Raw & Real: There’s no one coming to wipe up the beautiful mess of our lives. No one. There was no one growing up who could see the mess they were creating, there was no intentional living, no conscious choices being made about our future mental and emotional health or what might be handed down.
In our Facebook Peer Support Group, I see a lot of us asking “Should I…?” questions of each other. This is actually one of the reasons why being in a peer group is so great. We are talking with people who ‘get’ what we are going through and collectively have tried a lot of different things.
